Get ready to roll on the floor laughing as we dive into the wild world of law enforcement! In this article, we’ve gathered some hilarious tales straight from the mouths of police officers who’ve encountered the most ludicrous calls on the job. From strange suspects to farm animal freakouts, these brave men and women have seen it all. So, buckle up and join us on a side-splitting journey through the most bizarre emergencies that had officers raising their eyebrows and stifling their giggles. It’s time to share some unforgettable cop stories that’ll have you wondering: what were these people thinking? All content has been edited for clarity.
“It Was One Of My Strangest Days On Duty”
“One day, my colleagues and I were sitting around in the squad room. I was playing on my phone, the officers were on their computers working on reports. The dispatcher called back to us and said there was a pig on the loose near the park.
We all responded with the general sentiment of, ‘Hell no, there’s no way.’
But, on the off chance there was a pig, it sounded pretty hilarious, so we all piled into cars and went to find it.
We got into the neighborhood where the pig had allegedly last been spotted and split up. The officer I was with said there was an abandoned house that used to have a bunch of animals in the backyard, so we checked there first. We pulled into the alley behind this house and another officer joined us. The yard was full of wooden chicken coops and makeshift pigsties. It was overgrown with tall grass and weeds. We stomped through it looking for the pig but didn’t see it anywhere. We headed back to the cars. We made it about a block away from the abandoned house when the other officer from the yard radioed us.
The officer said, ‘Hey….so, uh..check your clothes. I found some fleas on me from the yard.’
The officer and I both looked down and fleas are crawling all over our legs. He slammed on the brakes and we jumped out of the car smacking fleas off of ourselves. When we finally stopped this and looked around, we noticed two big burly redneck types with Duck Dynasty-looking beards sitting on the porch of the house we had stopped in front of.
One takes a swig from his beer can and goes, ‘Are ya’ll lookin’ for a pig?’
I replied, ‘Yes sir, we are. Have you seen one?’
‘S’over there,’ said the man taking another drink and pointing to an alley.
In the alley is this little pig, just doing little pig things. We radioed the other officers for backup. What happened next involved a slow-speed pursuit of the pig through the neighborhood. Two officers were on foot while a third officer and I drove cars and attempted to box the pig in. Eventually, we pinned the pig up against a garage and fence in some old neighbor’s driveway. The only problem? Nobody wanted to touch the pig. It was pretty dirty, and making scary grunting noises.
‘Intern!’ one of the sergeants yelled, ‘Grab the pig!’
Without thinking, I lunged at the pig and scooped it up in my arms. Angry pig noises intensified. It kicked, squirmed, squealed, and became all sorts of angry.
I yelled, ‘What do I do now?’
‘Uhhhhh…quick! Throw it in this trash can!’ my coworker replied.
He wheeled over a hot pink trash can and threw open the lid. I gently placed the pig in there and we shut the lid.
The whole time, a weird redneck lady was standing in the yard next to us cackling and yelling, ‘Pigs chasin’ pigs!’
She eventually came over and asked us to pose with the pig for a picture, which we did. I wish I knew who she was or if she still had the picture.
We had no idea what to do, so we called the sergeant. He called somebody with the city, who brought over a pickup truck with a liftgate on it. The plan was to take the pig to the county dog pound and leave it in a cage until the owner could be found. Unfortunately, there was nobody at the pound late in the day. Someone needed to ride in the back of the truck to make sure the pig-can didn’t tip over, and it had started to pour rain. Being the intern, I got to ride in the pouring rain, sitting on the side of the truck bed and holding the trash can steady while we drove across town to the pound in what must have been a very strange-looking convoy.
We ended up leaving the pig in one of the empty cages. The sergeant left a note on the door essentially saying, ‘There is a pig in one of the kennels, contact the police department.’
It was one of my strangest days on duty.”
The Scarecrow Showdown
“Years ago when I was a kid, my dad called the police on ‘a man with a gun’ outside of our house.
For reference, we lived in the middle of nowhere, Georgia. My dad was off Navy deployment at the time. It was pretty late, so the sun had died down and it was pitch-black outside.
My dad went into the kitchen and took his glasses off to clean them. My dad was nearly blind without his glasses. When he looked out of the kitchen window toward the neighbor’s house, he saw the shadow of a ‘man’ standing in front of his barn.
Instead of assessing the situation for a moment or putting his glasses on to verify, he immediately called 911 and proceeded to say, ‘I need help! There’s a man with a gun outside my house! Please come quick!’
When the police officers pulled up, they walked around to the back of the barn. Then, they went inside the neighbor’s house and walked back outside. My dad watched the officers handcuff the man and proceed to walk to our house instead of their cars.
At this point, my dad put his glasses back on and went to the door. The police knocked, and my dad opened the door. The officers had the biggest grins on their faces I’d ever seen in my life. My dad’s emotions shifted from happy to confused in a split second.
The ‘man’ the officers brought to my dad’s door handcuffed? A scarecrow.
The officers quickly discovered the man was a scarecrow, so they asked the neighbors if they could borrow it and put cuffs on it.
The only words from the officers were, ‘No need to worry anymore sir, this man is going away for a long time.”
“I Realized How Many People Called 911 For Nothing”
“I’ve had quite a few ridiculous calls in my time as a police officer.
One time, an older lady called 911 to report suspicious activity in her neighborhood.
She cried, ‘There’s someone parked at my neighbor’s house! They’ve been sitting there for hours. Something suspicious is going on!’
When I went to the scene, sure enough, a car was sitting in the driveway. I walked up to the car, tapped on the window, and the driver rolled the window down.
I asked the driver, ‘What’s going on? Why are you sitting here?’
He handed me his ID and said, ‘I’ve lived here for two years now, and I’ve always had this car. I’m just listening to a podcast.’
I could barely muster up words at his response. I couldn’t believe the neighbor had the nerve to call the cops on him, I simply told him to have a good night and left.
Another weird call I received came from Papa Johns’s. A lady decided she wasn’t happy with her pizza for whatever reason so she called the police. Why the police could fix her problem, I wasn’t sure. I almost took her to jail for disorderly conduct because she started yelling and screaming like a hyena when she realized we weren’t going to do anything. Eventually, the manager just gave her the pizza and another pizza for free, which I guess is what she wanted.
Another call was at a cupcake place. A customer was mad because she ordered a cake and she wasn’t happy with the order so she called the police.
I explained, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything. If you have a problem with your order, take it up with the business.’
She huffed and puffed, but eventually decided it wasn’t worth it, even though her daughter’s birthday party was now ‘ruined.’
Growing up, my dad always emphasized how important it was to only call 911 for emergencies. I assumed the thought process was commonplace for everyone until I got into law enforcement and realized how many people called 911 for nothing.”
“There Was Never A Dull Day”
“I previously worked as a police officer. While I love my job, some of the calls I got were ridiculous.
One afternoon, I got a call from an upper-middle-class neighborhood. The caller complained about how someone was trespassing on their property.
When I arrived on the scene, I spoke with the ‘victim.’ They were a 50-something white male who, coincidentally, was an elementary school principal.
He cried, ‘My neighbor has trespassed on my property numerous times! You need to arrest them!’
The perpetrator? A harmless three-year-old playing in the victim’s yard. The victim claimed there was an ‘invisible line,’ in the grass the three-year-old crossed.
When I left, the victim wound up filing a formal complaint against me and the police department for dereliction of duty. My chief and the town mayor both told me to forget it.
Long story short, there was never a dull day at work.”