Anyone who's worked for more than a few months has seen somebody quit or get canned, but few people can boast a story like one of these.
A Bomb On The Way Out
“A senior manager was quitting for a new job. He was always a little wacky but super intelligent. So he decides to quit by announcing everyone’s salaries, including the VPs. He just went to everyone’s cubicle and said ‘You make this much…You make this much and don’t deserve it….’ A lot of pissed people afterwards, not at his antics but at certain coworkers who made more money. VP was making 250k, at least that was good to know.” (source)
Hero To Zero
“We had this guy at the office…not the best at his job, but smart, driven, well-respected, and clients liked him. Shortly after I started here he was offered a significant promotion into a different department in a different office. He put together a transition plan and, over a month or so handed off his accounts (I took a few of them over). So he has this graceful hand-off, clients are notified, everything’s going well, and then…no promotion. The company said there were budgetary problems, and there was a delay. Then another delay. Then another delay. All the while, the poor guy is in limbo–he knows he’s moving, but not sure when yet. Until his current manager needs to cut expenses and realizes he’s dead weight. She lays him off. About two months later the company finally came through looking to actually complete the transfer, only to realize he was no longer working here. They made him an offer to come back into the new position, but by that point our competitor had hired him (for about 20 percent more, I heard) and he, entirely justifiably, told them to go pound sand.” (source)
An Interesting Shake
“I worked grill at a Del Taco…half way through my shift a big beast of a woman came in furious that she didn’t get her shake. After 20 minutes of me trying to calm her down even after telling her I’d give her the shake for free, I got fed up with her (and customers in general) so I went in the back and filled a Large cup with cold Ranch dressing gave it to her and immediately quit.” (source)
…Gross.
“A guy got caught masturbating onto the chair of a girl he was obsessed with.” (source)
That Would Do The Trick
“Years ago at a job, this guy that worked there gave his two weeks verbally. The HR manager asked him to submit something in writing for her records. So he leaves and comes back a few minutes later with an envelope. HR manager opens it up and it’s a piece of blank paper that he drew a giant set of dick and balls on then signed the bottom of it. She asked him if that’s really what he would like to submit and he said yes. I still think about it to this day and smirk. What a genius way to do it.” (source)
A Smellier Bomb On The Way Out
“I used to work at a college bookstore and one guy quit and took a dump in the front pocket of a hoodie and put it back on the rack toward the back. It was there for two days before anyone could find it.” (source)
Good Riddance
“We had a developer who became obsessed with one of the woman developers. She’s married, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. After many rejections, he eventually attacked her in the parking lot. Another developer had to pull him off of her (he was choking her). Anyways, he tried to act like nothing happened. He got escorted out by the police like 15 minutes later.” (source)
A Bold Move
“Teacher here. A guy in my department (3rd grade) put in for a personal day to go the beach or something. The school refused to authorize a substitute for him, obviously.
The dude called a babysitting service to watch his class while he went to the beach. We found a non-English speaking high school student showing the class cartoons on her computer while she took a nap. Needless to say he was fired, and I’m pretty sure he had to have his licensure reviewed.” (source)
Never Getting That Money Back
“At my previous job one of my coworkers who borrowed $2 from me once a week came into work a little late. My manager came up to him and said ‘Hey, man. Your manager is having a meeting in the break room at the back of the store and wants to see you, could you go meet with him?’ Not thinking anything of it he strolls to the back of the store past his department that he doesn’t realize has one more person working than it should have. About 3 minutes later I see him walking around the corner with a big frown and his arms behind his back. I’m thinking, ‘crap, did John get fired?!’ As he walks closer to me I say ‘Hey man, do you have that money you said you’d have for me today?’ As I’m speaking I realize he’s in handcuffs (I’m not terribly observant) and being escorted by a police officer. As he fully exits the building my manager yells, ‘Oh yeah, if you weren’t clear on this, you’re fired!’ Turns out he had been ringing up gift cards for $200 a piece every shift and discounting them at the POS so that the drawer didn’t come up short. He would have gotten away with it if he hadn’t made his purchases with those gift cards and his employee discount.” (source)
Interesting Decisions
“Worked in a restaurant and on his third day of work, a new employee showed a picture of his dick that he saved on his phone to several female employees. Manager says that he has to go to his office after his shift to get a warning. Ends up grabbing the big bag of salt and black pepper and starts throwing it into all of the food that was prepped for Saturday night and ran away.” (source)
You Really Can’t Do That
“A co-worker of mine came to work at the auto parts store with a severe hangover. A customer got smart with him and made the comment ‘Having a bad day?’ My co-worker punched the customer right in the mouth. Another customer said ‘Hey…you can’t do that’ so my co-worker punched him too. Then he walked out of the store. I’ve never seen him since.” (source)
Lining His Pockets
“Accountant got caught embezzling from the company. They called in the police to monitor him as he got his stuff together in his office. He had taken hundreds of thousands.” (source)
Peace
“I used to work at a job in ad sales where when you made a deal you would hit a gong and people would go up to you, clap, and give you high fives. One day a pretty brunette girl made a sick deal, goes up to the gong, hits it and then turns around and sticks up two middle fingers and says ‘Peace bitches I quit!’ It was f_cking awesome–I wish I got her number.” (source)
This Guy Holds A Grudge
“Work at a pizza place in Tallahassee. The chef was real fed up with his pay and the heat and during the middle of a Friday night shift, he just went out to the back of the restaurant, pulled a ladder against a fence, and hopped over it without telling anyone. The waitresses thought he was on a smoke break for about a half hour. He keeps up his vengeance by calling the restaurant a few times a month, ordering complex requests, and then never coming to pick them up.” (source)
He Had A Way With Words
“Back when I owned a plumbing company, I had an employee that wasn’t quite a plumber yet but could do service work pretty well. I had to send him to a new home for a punch list of some minor things. On the list was the shower head was making noise. When he was talking to the homeowner {a very nice looking woman, in her late 20s} she said that while in the shower the shower head made a whistling noise. He said to her, in front of the superintendent ‘Well, if I saw you naked, I’d whistle too.’ She complained and I had to let him go because at the time that was the only development we had work in.” (source)