Sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut--a valuable lesson these 15 students definitely could've learned a long time ago.
The “Best” Opinions
“This is from a 16-year-old student arguing about the grade she earned on a research paper: ‘My essay doesn’t need any citations because my opinions are fact.'” Source
Daddy’s Girl
“I gave a student a C on a philosophy paper, and she says to me, ‘Do you know my father is?’ To this day, I have no idea, but the grade didn’t change.” Source
It’s All I Can Do
“Student: ‘I don’t deserve an F you f_cking prick!’ Professor: ‘I know, but it’s as low as I can give you.’ Source — Email between my dad (CC prof) and one of his more charming students.” Source
The “Einstein”
“I once overheard a student in the college level science major specific class that I teach say ‘I wonder if this teacher will be able to tell me something I don’t already know’ and apparently I did because he failed the class with a 32 percent.” Source
Too Holy to Write
“My first year teaching, I subbed in a grade 10 English class. It was September, and one of the girls in the class was HEAVILY pregnant (so would have gotten pregnant in grade 9). All they had to do in this period was write 1 page about themselves – easy sub lesson! So I am walking around, checking work, and this girl and her group have done sh_t all. So I pop over to them and remind them they only have 20 minutes left and need to get something written on their page. Without a pause the girl looks up at me and said ‘Miss – Jesus didn’t write his own bible now did he.’ I just…walked away.” Source
Rich and Spoiled
“I was tutoring while in grad school to make some extra cash. I was charging this frat guy $25/hr and after our second or third session he says, ‘Do you have change for a hundred?’
Me: ‘No, but you could pay for several sessions at once.’
Him: ‘Well my mom only ever gives me hundreds! Why can’t she give me smaller bills once in a while?!’
Spoiled sh_t had like $600 in cash on him. He went home every weekend and got all this cash from his mom. I asked him what he wanted to with his life one time.
‘I’ll probably be a doctor or something. Everyone always told me I was smart.’
Poor kid couldn’t even pass general chemistry….” Source
Three Points Matter
“‘I got an 77 for my final grade, why didn’t you bump me up to a B?’ This was after she didn’t turn in the last three homework assingments and had to have an extension on her final project because she didn’t finish. My wife teaches a class where you literally have to show up and that’s your grade. She understands athletics, family emergencies, etc. She had a student come in at the end of the semester and whine about the grade he got (a D I think). The kicker: He flat out told her the reason he missed so much was because he was napping. He was lucky he got the grade he did.” Source
My Way or the Highway
“I have a student that refuses to do anything the way other students do it. He’s never been able to make a single regularly-scheduled workshop or presentation (3 years now). Oh, medical school pre-requisites? They don’t apply to him. He once requested that I come in on a Saturday to meet with him because my regular office hours ‘didn’t work for him.’ He was my student for 2 years, but now that he’s an upperclassman he is handled by one of my colleagues. I warned her. She didn’t believe me…until he walked in to her office this morning to tell her he can’t make any of the required workshops he needs to attend, but since he already filled out the paperwork, that’s cool, right?
He would also like us to find a way for him to graduate early because he just got engaged and wants to use his tuition money for the wedding or something. I don’t know. I don’t really listen to him anymore.” Source
Goodbye
“Wasn’t there in person, but this was relayed to me by a classmate. Girl was in surgery rotation in medical school. Despite being told to be careful, she knocks over a sterile instrument tray right before they’re about to cut into the person who was already under anesthesia. The lead surgeon flips his sh_t and tells all the students to get the f_ck out. ‘You can’t kick me out of here, I’m paying for this.’ She had to look through the windows into the OR for 2 weeks.” Source
The Prophet
“Not from a student, but from the student’s parent: ‘He doesn’t need to do math, cause he’s a prophet! Prophets don’t do math! Would you make Jesus do math?'” Source
It Was MY Idea
“I’m a professor now, but I think my favorite comment came from a classmate of mine during my master’s program. We were talking about some mass media theories, and the guy starts talking about framing. His contribution began with a long-winded explanation of the concept, and ended with him saying ‘this is my idea, by the way, it’s something I’ve been working on for the last couple of months.’ The list of citations on the wikipedia page on Framing is about 200 sources long, dating back to the mid-1950’s.” Source
Entitled
All the same student:
“My dad said I don’t have the personality to be a nurse. I need to be a doctor.”
“I don’t have time to join any student organizations. I’m MARRIED.”
“I’m going to make all As this semester. Oh, that academic warning? I took care of that.”
She had a mediocre GPA. Hadn’t made good grades in science and math classes. Unless her dad built the medical school, she wasn’t getting in. And that academic warning was totally legit. I spoke with her professor and he laughed for quite a while when I told him that she said she would make an A. He said she might pass with a C- if she was lucky.
The kicker? Her husband then called our office and threatened to get us all fired for daring to tell his precious wife something she didn’t want to hear. Gave us a deadline to apologize to her before he called the president of the university to file his complaint about our behavior. Looked him up on Facebook (one of my TAs is an excellent Facebook stalker) and he works at a local bike shop. Not even a student at our university. We turned the voicemail over to campus police and they had a chat with him. Source
The Influencer
“I’m an high school art teacher. I was talking about art influences and a kid said, ‘I am not influenced by anyone. The only art I like is my own.’ Ok kid.” Source
Boredom
“First year grad student stayed after on Day 1 to tell me, ‘Just so you know, I’m going to be very bored in your class. But it’s not your fault – I just already know everything you’re going to talk about.’ She completed the course with a D-, failed both of her other classes, lost her funding, and now works at Panda Express.” Source
My Own Schedule
“Student was 3 days late turning in a permission form for another class, the teacher called me while the student was in my class to see if she had brought it yet. The student SLAMS her hand on the desk and loudly declares, ‘He has been harrassing me about that form for three days!’ Most spoiled and entitled student ever.” Source